I know, this might not look like much in comparison to some of my other photographs. But to me, at the moment, this photo is everything. I’ve been reading a lot over the last few days. I’ve found myself deep into Guy Tal’s essays from his book ‘More Than a Rock’, and I have never read anything that has made me question myself as a photographer quite like this book has.
I often feel like I’m just uploading images to the Internet just for the sake of keeping the Internet happy. Obviously I like to share my work with the world but I especially love it when it has some meaning. Sometimes I don’t feel like that is the case and these feelings have been getting stronger recently. I don’t know if it’s because of the lockdown here in the UK and I’m just a little tired of everything right now, or whether I’m going through something of a growth period or I’m perhaps pivoting as a photographer.
The thing is, I don’t just want to be just another one of those social media photographers. The whole idea of social media has left me feeling rather annoyed recently and sometimes I don’t want to be a part of it. Someone called me an ‘influencer’ once and that really didn’t sit right. This is about much more than selling cheap products that I don’t believe in to naïve youngsters.
You see, I try to pour pieces of myself into the images that I take. I strive for them to be unique and hold some artistic value so to then just go ahead and put them on a digital ‘grid’ to watch them almost disappear from peoples sights and thoughts the next day sometimes leaves me with a really empty feeling. I’ve always wanted this ‘hobby’ to be about more than just a social media and Internet popularity contest and more about me figuring myself out as a person and making some sense of my complicated early life. Just over the last few days, something has been blocking me from getting outdoors to take photos. I haven’t been feeling particularly adventurous or creative or enthusiastic. So maybe, just maybe, this is the image and afternoon behind the camera that I needed in order to get me back on track. Or perhaps even, to follow a new track.
I hadn’t planned this part but perhaps you can take this as the first instalment of a ‘Why Photography’ series; something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while.