A Photographers Journal Brad Carr A Photographers Journal Brad Carr

Starting Out

I started out with next to nothing - just a camera, pen and a dream that I could make the world a better place with my art. I had saved a few thousand pounds by living frugally for a while; wearing the same clothes that I had been wearing for years, eating simple meals, driving an old Ford Fiesta (that I am still proudly driving to this day, by the way) - at one point even driving no car as I walked to and from the day job selling plug sockets and radiators.

The money that I had saved through personal training on the side of my day job bought me some freedom for a while at least. I knew from the beginning that I had something different to offer the world of art; a way of seeing that was unique - perhaps it was always more of a way of thinking, and I was driven and determined to make something meaningful out of my life.

I had to give myself time to incubate my ideas and allow my shrouded vision to become clearer, away from all distractions and responsibilities. I hid away from the world in the darkness of morning; sometimes with my camera, other times with my pen and journal in hand. Whilst most of my friends were finding wives for themselves and settling into comfort, I had chosen to be without a partner for a while, and, therefore, the children that would take my attention away from my purpose. Every ounce of my creative energy went towards my vision for the future.

The entirety of 2021 was dedicated to working on my craft. I created with freedom and explored the landscape in pursuit of photographs and purpose. Although I had announced my move into the world of business to my audience online, I paid little attention to the art of making money for much of this first chapter, instead dedicating every ounce of my energy to developing my vision through the camera and voice with the pen. I worked hard on my website, too, writing blogs and copy for many of the pages - something that, only recently, has been paying its’ dividends as I have been welcoming international clients for photographic tours of Eryri (Snowdonia).

For the first couple of years, I barely earned a penny through photography - just the odd job and print sale here and there. Uptake for tuition was slow… Heck, it still is sometimes, but I would occasionally take a booking for a one to one lesson or sell one or two places on a workshop. These initial bookings offered me a glimmer of hope of a bright future as an artist. It was crazy, I thought, that people wanted to learn from me after only three years spent developing my craft. What might be possible after thirty? I always wondered.

I can’t deny that the opening chapters were tough. They certainly took their toll on my mental health. I thought that starting a business as an artist would be easy - simply put out a few announcements to my social media audience and watch the sales or prints and workshops quickly follow. Boy, was I wrong. I had underestimated the work that was required to build any business - never mind one as an artist that was prioritising purpose in a largely soulless world. Perhaps I had spent too long watching YouTube channels and Instagram reels of ‘successful’ people talking like they knew secrets about building a business (all trying to sell their eBooks, courses and coaching programs, of course). The truth is that it takes work, guts, countless mistakes, and a lot of resilience to make something out of yourself in this world. Not only do you have to have something that the world needs, but you need to learn how to sell, market, build a brand, communicate with people through conversation and writing, plan, network, manage admin, as well as much, much more.

In my mind, I thought that I would simply create photographs for the rest of my life, share them with an online world, and get paid for the privilege. I learnt very quickly that this world was not going to be so easy to penetrate. My small nest egg quickly began to dissipate. I quickly started to panic.

In between building myself a life as an artist, I have been in and out of temporary employment to make ends meet. I spent a six-month period delivering fast food to residents of a nearby town; something that did not align with the personal trainer and once-aspiring bodybuilder inside of me. This was a period of self-sacrifice that I truly resented at the time, and led to me harbouring feelings of anger towards money and the current state of this world. It wasn’t a pleasant period of life, to be honest, although I tried hard, as always, to keep a smile on my face throughout it all.

In hindsight, I can say with absolute pride that I did what I had to do to keep my dream of becoming an artist alive. Other notable jobs for me throughout this dark period were; Christmas temp as a warehouse packer, general dogs body in a honey factory, cement mixer/ labourer, and receptionist in a local gym. My way ‘here’ has certainly not been straightforward. I even ran away from it all to live in Aberystwyth for a few months back at the beginning of 2023. I was busy making quite the mess of my life through the introductory stages of my career, but, throughout it all, I have continued to create photographs and write essays, with a vision for the future firmly fixed in my mind and sense of purpose that continues to drive me forwards.

I asked myself some tough questions during what were some of the darkest times of my life. I was alone, penniless, and, at some points, feeling very angry towards the world. I thought, at times, that I was owed something for my creativity and wondered why many of my friends hadn’t supported me as I set out on my way to ‘make it’ as an artist. Although I was feeling like a ‘failure’ (commercially at least), I never lost hope completely. One of the most important questions that I asked myself was; what was I offering to the world beyond pretty pictures of the Welsh landscape?

Business, I have learnt, is an energy exchange. Whether you are an artist, engineer, or personal trainer, you get paid accordingly to the energy that you contribute to the world. In the beginning of my creative journey, the pursuit, naturally, was more about what it was doing for me than what it was doing for the world. As time passed, I organically began to link what the art of photography was doing inside of myself to what it could offer to the world. In recent times, at long last, ‘success’ has been slowly starting to find me.

‘Success’ as an artist is an interesting topic. What do you deem as success? Success, to me, can come in many shapes and forms. In my mind, I have been successful since day one. I have created work that aligns with who I am for the most part and I have continued to share my truth with the world. Even when creating less-than-original photographs of well-known locations in the earliest days, I would try to put my own spin on things, finding a unique angle, or using the light in a different way. Success, in recent times, however, has evolved. Recent publications in magazines has, of course, led to me viewing success in different ways. I count myself as blessed to be amongst the few privileged people in this world that are being paid for their gifts of creativity. With an upcoming solo exhibition in a prestigious Welsh gallery, and a role as a tutor for Light & Land, the horizon is looking almost certain to bring forth more of this ‘success’. I must continue to remind myself of my journey so far, and remember the true meaning of success; to create work that communicates the core of who I am, to educate and inspire, and hopefully, make this world a better place to exist in through the creativity that I have been blessed enough to have access to.

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